Sunday, 21 September 2014

dreaming


Colin’s lament; “I was dreaming of blue skies and wearing shorts and t-shirt”. Unfortunately he arrived home a day too late. This week felt like the beginning of summer – blue skies, warm weather, people out and about, bodies in the sea and lazing on the sand. Yep, the shorts and t-shirts came out of the cupboard and I couldn’t resist lazing by the pool and taking a quick dip to cool off! This weekend – grey skies, drizzle and a cool wind; chalk and cheese.
This week, blue and warm, is bookmarked by Melbourne and Tassie at either end (we head South again tomorrow). The beauty and pleasure of this place sandwiched by the beauty and pleasure of family at the other. It feels like perfection would be the merging of the two. When I am North my heart yearns for my family and when I am South my heart yearns for sun and warmth and to gaze upon the sea. For other people it will be different things, but the feeling of being pushed and pulled by different desires is a familiar one. We are attempting to live in such a way as to have both, it kind of works and kind of doesn’t. There is more North than South at the moment and missing my children is an ever-present heaviness in my heart. Next year our experimenting with a transient and mobile life will see us more South than North. We’ll trade sun and warmth for family and we’ll try and seek out places of natural beauty wherever we are. You can’t ‘unknow’ something and having lived in a place of beauty and felt pleasure and peace seep into our being, it is not something we can easily let go.
As the reality of our leaving sinks in and the time of our leaving draws ever closer we find ourselves taking comfort in what has become familiar and symbolic of living here, blue skies and warm weather and the ever present beauty of the sea. We are breathing deeply and greedily, feeling a sense of impending loss, wanting to make the most of every minute that is left to us…




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